Witty Definitions by Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

1. Love - a temporary insanity cured by marriage.

2. Day - a period of 24 hours, mostly misspent.

3. Egotist - a person who is more interested in himself than in me.

4. Acquaintence - a person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

5. Admiration - our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

6. Bore - a person who talks when you wish him to listen.

7. Calamities are two kinds - misfortunes to ourselves and good fortune to others.

8. Alone - in bad company.

9. Apologize - to lay the foundation for a future offense.

10.Once - enough.

11.Twice - once too often.

12.Year - a period of 365 disappointments.



from http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Ambrose_Bierce









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