Thursday, December 29, 2011

good bye 2011, welcome 2012

is it just me or do you think that 2011 has gone by just like an F1 car speeding away?

i vaguely remember what i did in january ... all is a blur. however, here i am, trying to remember what i can take away from 2011. let me see what i can find.

our baby year
not that we haven't been trying but this time we tried IVF and IUI again. all failed! well, ... i became allergic to the IVF fertility drugs. stopped halfway, so, failed lah! as excited as we were at the possibility of having one ... it was quite a stressful journey. i lived on a 2-week time frame for nearly 6 months! 2 weeks of jabs, 2 weeks waiting for +ve or -ve blood test results. when -ve, waited for period to come and end. then the whole cycle again. i also lost count of how many jabs i've had - meds, blood test & other tests too. it felt like i've out-jabbed myself in 6 months than in my life time hahaha .... now? everything stopped except our natural habits. no more drugs but supplements, yes. my mom is like supplying supplements like a pharmacy! as much as i appreciate it, my stress hasn't reduced one bit. she somehow knows when i am late and i don't even tell her my last period date! i wonder how she knows ... i'm still stressed out about having babies, help!

i have this urge to work again. is 7 years long enough? nah, right? we'll see how it goes ....

my lil hearts! i just adore my 3 nephews! love, love, love! ages between 2-4 years old.

McD to KFC
yes, a new job. him, not me. he's happier now. of course work related stress is normal but no more of those emotional stress. alhamdulillah he's happier. he made the right move at the right time.

fb has reconnected me with many long lost childhood friends. i am so happy to find them again.

the cherry for the year was my brother-inlaw's kidnapping. gone for 2 months but returned by the grace of Allah. alhamdulillah! we are thankful that he is alive, back with us & well. lives have changed because of his ordeal.

i noticed that my entries have become shorter. i used to write long ones. i guess it comes and goes with my mood. for now, everything is short & straight ... right?

i'll be updating this entry as memory serves me. i know i have more to write ... but what ah?

Monday, December 26, 2011

... if you would, i could too but, our mothers taught us better than that!


frust menonggeng ...

do people still say that?

anyway ...

sya yg frust menonggeng!

really upset sampai hilang mood nak buat kerja.

rasa macam nak 'whack the fella' with a rubber bat!


now, i wanna scream like Jillian Micheals ...!
hati panas sampai rasa sakit dada ... geramnyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Sunday, December 25, 2011

what i learned today ...

it is important to know what wrong you have done & to whom. but more importantly, what do you do with that knowledge ... do you rectify it or let it be? either way, a permanent mark is etched into your soul.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

tengok tarikh, rasa mcam terjatuh kerusi!

esok 23hb! assignment due 3jan.

in 10 days (surely less), i have to come up with 2 2hr-modules.

this whole week i've been 'resting'.

i haven't been feeling well.

yeah, yeah ... i know. sounds like a lame excuse!

but honestly, i really wasn't feeling well.

esok, selepas tadarus, start buat assignment.

start esok!
sesedih hati, airmata bergelinangan
senyuman terukir pd yg mengubat luka, menghiburkan yg lara

satu perpisahan, insyaAllah banyak lagi pertemuan
yang pergi tak kembali, yang datang menyeri

duka lara hibur ketawa
semuanya dalam keredhaan Allah Maha Menyayangi
bila dikenang ...airmata berguguran
masih tertanya tapi tiada jawapan
bertubi bertanya, tidak diendahkan
diminta berbicara, bermaafan jika bersalah ... masih juga tidak diendahkan
jika masih belum bersedia ... saya sedia menunggu
jika masih bersahabat ... masih berpeluang utk bersama
jika tidak dimaafkan ... saya redha menerima
jika tidak dikehendaki lagi ... apakan daya saya membawa diri
ditinggalkan tanpa alasan, tanpa ucapan
telah berusaha tapi tidak berjaya ... tidak diberi peluang
walau dibuang ... masih menunggu kerna menyayangi ikatan.

Friday, December 16, 2011

assignment belum siap ...

i can hear a Jillian Micheals' scream-like scream in my head  .... !

i can do it!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Sara Evans - A Little Bit Stronger

i'm in love with the apartment this video was shot in.
yg dari sana dah balik sini.

assignment due this saturday.

other than that ... busy with errands.

back to my assignment.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

can't we agree to disagree?

ok, so you disagree with my choices of music and what not.


i'm ok with that.

this is me, with you.


yes, agreed!
alahai hubby ... seronok sgt kut ...

pi conference di hanoi for 5D4N. both hp off sebab takut bil tinggi.

hmm ... last2, bini sendiri tak dpt nak call or text.

oklah ... have fun, deary!

:o(    rindu sorang2 rasa mcm timba mencari perigi plak ... isk isk!

One more time

can you feel that i miss you?

Richard Marx - This I Promise You (Acoustic)

where are you? :'(

Pakistan News

this is huge than what they had led us to believe but we understand the extremities & sensitivity of the situation. most importantly is that he is safe & back with us. but this does not end here. he is still in danger. Ya Allah, lindungilah ahli2 keluargaku. aminn.

News #1  Kidnapped: Industrialist Riaz Chinoy Found

KARACHI: At least three alleged members from a banned terrorist outfit were killed while two policemen were injured in a bid to recover an abducted industrialist from Korangi on Monday night.

Police officials said that the industrialist, Riaz Chinoy, had been recovered in an encounter which took place when Anti-Violent Crime Cell (AVCC) and Capital Police Liaison Committee (CPLC) conducted a raid in Allah Wala Town, Korangi.

AVCC chief Ghulam Subhani said that the men killed in the encounter were affiliated with the Tehreek-e-Taliban Punjab. He added that more people were involved in the abduction.

CPLC officials claim that the kidnappers were demanding Rs70 million in ransom. CPLC chief Ahmed Chinoy said that the negotiations started off at Rs70 million but were brought down to Rs20 million.

He added that the kidnappers had called the family to deliver the ransom money on Monday so they took it from there and carried out an encounter. According to Subhani, the kidnappers had hired a house to keep Chinoy in.

He said that they were looking for the estate agent.

Published in The Express Tribune, December 6th, 2011.

News #2  Three kidnappers killed, businessman Riaz Chinoy recoverd

Karachi : The AVCC police and citizen police liaison committee conducted a joint raid at the hideout of kidnappers in korangi on Monday night and recovered businessman Riaz Chinoy who was kidnapped on October 7 from quaidabad Karachi.

Three of the kidnappers were killed in encounter while Rome others escaped in the cover of firing. Two policemen also sustained injuries.

The kidnappers had demanded Rs 600 million as ransom for release of Riaz Chinoy.

The kidnappers belong to Punjabi talban and the cplc chief says phone calls for ransom were made from khost area of Afghanistan and miranshah of tribal areas.

News #3  Three Alleged Taliban Militants Killed in Karachi Encounter 
KARACHI: An industrialist, who was kidnapped in October, was safely recovered by personnel of the Anti-Violent Crime Cell (AVCC) and Citizen Police Liaison Committee (CPLC) from the Korangi industrial area.

Moreover, in the encounter, three militants, who were said to be activists of the banned Tehreek-i-Taliban Pakistan (TTP), including the Ameer of the ‘Punjabi’ Taliban group in the city, were killed.

The police had also recovered arms and ammunition, explosives weighing about 20 kilogrammes and a bomb-fitted motorcycle. The investigators claimed that the terrorists might have wanted to launch an attack on an Ashura procession.

SP Ghulam Subhani of the AVCC said that on October 8 industrialist Riaz Chinoy was heading towards his house situated in Phase-II, DHA, with his driver. When he reached the Quaidabad area, armed men driving a GLI car and two riding a motorcycle intercepted him.

They kidnapped him in the car and fled. Afterwards, the family had received a ransom call of Rs50 crore and the kidnappers had also hurled threats against the family. Afterwards, a complaint was lodged at the police station for kidnapping for ransom.

Moreover, teams were formed under the supervision of SP Subhani of the AVCC and CPLC Chief Ahmed Chinoy. During the investigation and negotiation period, the investigators had tried to lower the ransom amount and they were receiving calls from the kidnappers from different numbers. The investigators said that some eight to nine days earlier, they had also received a call for ransom from Waziristan upon which it was also found that the call was a conference call.

They said that during the course of the investigation, an informer revealed that the kidnappers were present in Karachi with the abducted Riaz Chinoy, who is also the owner of the IIL pipe factory and Pakistan Cables, and were hiding in an 80-yard two-storey house situated in KDA Society’s Allahwala Town in Korangi.

Acting on a tip-off, the police team of the AVCC with the coordination of the CPLC had moved to the spot. They added that when police vans had encircled the prescribed spot, on seeing the police mobiles the terrorists had opened fire which was retaliated by the police and an encounter ensued during which two policemen PC Ghaffar Abbasi and PC Rafiq Baloch got injured and were immediately moved to a hospital.

The encounter lasted for more than 40 minutes and the police managed to arrest three suspected terrorists in an injured condition, while their companions escaped under the cover of fire. The police had shifted the injured terrorists to the hospital but on their way they succumbed to their injuries.

During the search of the hideout, the police had safely recovered the abducted industrialist Riaz Chinoy. They also recovered five pistols, two laptops, three cellphones, a pressure cooker in which nine hand-grenades were hidden. The police had also found a bomb-fitted motorcycle.

The investigators said that during the search of another room, the police had recovered bags containing explosive material weighing about 20 kilogrammes, detonating cord, wires and other objects.

The police had seized the items and also arrested the owner of the house of the militants, who is identified as Ameer Khan. They shifted the recovered items and abducted industrialist Chinoy to the investigation unit and also the accused owner of the building, Ameer Khan.

Ameer Khan during questioning told the police that he hailed from Bannu and had rented out the house to the militants some 40 days ago. During the investigation, the killed terrorists were identified as Qari Amir, an Ameer of the Punjabi Taliban from Karachi, Shahid Khan and Musa Khan.

Regarding the recovery of an explosives-laden motorcycle, the investigators said that the terrorists might have had a plan to strike during Ashura day. Meanwhile, the Sindh home minister announced a cash reward for the raiding party.

News #4  Kidnapped industrialist freed, captors slain
KARACHI, Dec 5: Three suspected militants were killed in a shootout with police in Korangi area here on Monday, leading to recovery of an industrialist kidnapped about two months ago for Rs600 million in ransom, officials said. A large quantity of explosives and weapons was seized in the operation.

Riaz T. Chinoy, the chief of a leading steel pipes and tubes manufacturing company, was kidnapped on Oct 7 from Landhi area by some half a dozen armed men.

The investigators said it took almost two months to trace the hideout of the kidnappers as the family was receiving phone calls for ransom from the tribal areas and Afghanistan.

“Police raided a rented house in Allahwala Town in Korangi after tracking down their (kidnappers’) location,” said Ahmed Chinoy, the Citizen-Police Liaison Committee chief who assisted the police investigation.

“As the policemen closed in, they came under gunfire that triggered heavy firing from both sides. It lasted more than an hour and finally police took over the control of the situation and three kidnappers were killed in the shootout. We also recovered Mr Chinoy safe and sound.”

Police officials suspected that the number of kidnappers was higher and some of them escaped amid the shootout taking advantage of darkness in the area.

But they were convinced about the background and association of the kidnappers.

“They are definitely militants associated with some banned outfits,” said Ghulam Subhani of Police’s Anti-Violent Crime Cell referring to arms and explosives recovered from the hideout.

“We have not counted them yet but a large number of grenades have been recovered from the home. Similarly, we have also seized bags of explosives and every component that is used for making bombs.”

He said that police were already convinced that the industrialist was kidnapped by the militants after the investigators looked into the records of phone numbers being used to call the victim’s family for ransom demand.

(ALL unedited)

Pixie Lott - What Do You Take Me For? ft. Pusha T

this, somehow, reminds me of 'old-school' music. sambil buat assignment memalam buta ni ....

Wednesday, December 7, 2011


assignment belum siaaaaap!

malam ni kena pulun. esok bwk mak lawat orang sakit. lusa family sampai. tulat dah kelas.

ok! back to work!


p/s: i miss my bedmate, who's in hanoi till friday  :o(

this is what most wives want ... well, at least it's what i want & need.

copied this from Maria Bina Rahayu on FB. i didn't ask for her permission but i hope she doesn't mind because i am being honest about where i got this from.
i try so hard not to judge anyone base of face value or just what i know about that person.

alot goes into whatever decisions one makes especially pertaining to relationships.

i try not to say or think anything about it unless i have walked & lived in that person's shoes.

altho, i admit, sometimes the devil does get the better of me (ooh the temptation!) but no more, insyaAllah!

thinking back ...

where we are now is because of where we have been and, no one knows more what had happened than the two of us.

hence, the same for others.

so, i leave my opinions at the door, ok?

dying skills

... dead, more like it.

the skills of wooing & being wooed.


Tuesday, December 6, 2011

... coming to an end.

it's that time again ... ending one calender year, ushering the next.

a friend started a good ritual a few years back. he challenged us to write our 'take-aways' for the ending year. since then, insyaAllah there'll be an entry on it.

what an eventful year and so much to write! i need time to sort it out and will post it soon. these special entries are mostly for me to remember and cherish those memories.

thank you, En.Ariffin Mamat aka Pak Pin for starting it :)

rahmat 10 Muharram

syukur alhamdulillah!

rezeki & rahmat pd 10 Muharram dari Allah yg Maha Besar, Maha Mengetahui, Maha Penyayang!

biras sya telah diselamatkan! polis dpt tahu dia dimana. seminggu polis mengekor org jahat. all shot dead!

he lost 15kg, grew a beard n had his wrists tied & legs shackled :( what torture!

yg penting dia selamat, tak cedera & dah balik.

syukur alhamdulillah!

Monday, December 5, 2011

to read ...

OneRepublic - Good Life

i feel good & happy when i hear this song on air :)
i've always wondered when or why i started doubting my abilities.

the idea of preparing for class makes me depressed.

i stopped teaching the last 4 years but oddly, i lately crave for it. hence, the course i am doing now.

i find my interest increasing, my passion igniting and my fear diminishing.

i told DJ about my problem and i found peace in his explanation of what he thought happened to me.

'it's normal. there are times our momentum slows down. something happened to you that made it that way. but what's important is that you're back. you want to come back. focus on that. you can do it!'

i called it a 'burn-out' but his explanation does help me too.

i am at ease and i feel calm. there is anxiety but i am overcoming it.

reigniting, rediscovering  my passion ... am so excited!


Friday, December 2, 2011

takde penyakit ...

... pi cari penyakit!


open up your locked mind, sya! you need whatever's inside it to complete your assignment.

hu hu hu ....

dah lama tak buat assignment :(