Wednesday, November 30, 2011


feeling good.

amazing how much a positive comment, a nice compliment could put so much spring into somewone's walk.

Monday, November 28, 2011

feeling abit blue

ear infection ... again (2nd time this year).

bro-inlaw still missing.

just feeling so.

no other reason, i think.

yup, none.

just feeling so.

sedetik lebih ~ annuar zain

Ketulusan Hati-Anuar Zain (Astro Oasis)

Mungkin - Anuar Zain

Saturday, November 26, 2011

salam maal hijrah
buat semua muslimin & musliman

semoga ibadah tahun lepas diterima
ibadah ditahun baru diberkati


Friday, November 25, 2011

hmmm ...

maybe i should stop wanting things ... wanting a baby, a bigger kitchen (not a bigger house, mind u), a bigger car (i want a Fiat Multipla... right?), a career (working on that) and ... what else? a skinny body, u say? nope, don't want THAT but i do want a slimmer & healthy body (forever working on that).

i'm not like anyone. i know myself and i am a working progress.


astaghafirullah ... bila baca balik entry ini, baru sedar ... ini semua kehendak duniawi. syukur alhamdulillah Allah beri sya peluang menyedari semua ini.

ubah niat.

sya redha kami tiada rezeki utk mendapat anak. sya redha kami belum dpt izin Allah utk mendpt pinjamanNya yakni seorang anak. sya redha hati kami belum terbuka sepenuhnya utk mengambil anak angkat. semua ini ada hikmahNya. Ya Allah, tenangkanlah hati hambaMu ini.

sya bersyukur utk pedoman2 yg diberiNya utk sya memperbaiki diri sya utk akhirah.  alhamdulillah.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

tetiba tergerak hati ... mampukah kami? not only money wise but raising one ...?

will i ever be ready? will we?

in between ...

can't sleep because i'm not sleepy. can't study because i'm sleepy.

so which part of me is unable to decide?!

... berapa lama boleh tahan agaknya ... :P

Monday, November 21, 2011

some people are sooooooooooooo immature!

Ya Allah, let me not be one. aminn ... unless there's a learning.

no, i will not think unhappy thoughts tonight & forever.

be gone unhappy thoughts!

i want to smile.

i have so much to be thankful for  :-) alhamdulillah for all that i have with me right now.


Saturday, November 19, 2011

1st day

everything went well ... almost ... there were times i nearly dozed off. maybe it was because of the food they served. next class, i have to lay off the goodies. need to focus on the lesson.

it was good to refresh my memory ... looking forward to the next class next saturday.


for now, baca hand-outs for the next session.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

latest pics


cracking my mind open

it's been awhile since i've read books like these.

just started on this one ... slowly. apparently, it takes awhile for my brain to take it all in. *sigh* age factor?

next will be this one.

what are they for? brushing up on my old, old skills ....

a step at a time ... yeah?

latest news

the police have a lead where he might be. they're planning for a search & rescue mission. if it is true, may Allah keep him safe & bring him home safely.

aminn aminn yarabbal'alaminn.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

this morning ...

at the sink in my bathroom, brushing my teeth.

why the hell do i need anyone to validate how good i am at doing things?!  i know i can. i validate me self!


Oprah talking to me in my head!

yeah ...!

Monday, November 14, 2011

door to the rat race?

i've been comtemplating whether to join the rat race again or not.

i feel like i want to work again. i want to work again. i miss teaching, connecting with students. i've left the rat race 7 years ago but only stopped the last 4 years. feels like a life time ... i don't know where to start!

should i take up a course, this would take up some serious $$ ... should i just jump right in and apply for a teaching job? the most sensible idea.

i have so many questions. fears & doubts.

where or how do i start? hmm...

Sunday, November 13, 2011

decisions ...


dari buat Cert., baik buat Masters, kan?


Saturday, November 12, 2011

i walked the walk! woohooo!

nasi dagang.

that was what i craved for at 4am a few nights ago. scanning thru my unkept recipe collection, i found a few pieces of scribbled papers with the recipe on it.

i had to read thru and decipher/adjust the ingredients & the amounts that i need to make nasi dagang only for the two of us. my mom's recipe is for 20pax and above.

i can u tell by heart, how to make it because i've been my mom's assistant in the kitchen most of my life. i've 'made' it only twice so far and both times with my mom & mom-inlaw. you know lah kan ... at one point, they took over the cooking process.

well this time i am going to walk the walk. i was going to make my 1st nasi dagang. curries are easy & the acar too.

my delicious creation!

for a 1st timer, i'd say it turned out quite well altho there is a lot of room for improvement :-D

the recipe? that i have to give another day because it'll take alot of time to explain my mom's recipe. after making it, i'd say it was easy but the prep is tedious!

Friday, November 11, 2011

2 mugs of coffee ago ...

still wide awake at 3.30am and hungry because i've been browsing recipe books :D

hmm ... what to cook for tomorrow?

Thursday, November 10, 2011

sudden boredom sets in ...

volumes of disappointment ...

giving up? yes, for tonight.

hoping for a better tomorrow.

i need caffiene, got some already but not enough!



Lady Antebellum - Just A Kiss

wahai si penghutang ....

kenapa si pemiutang rasa bersalah apabila dia nak mintak hutang dibayar?

kenapa si penghutang berani memarahi si pemiutang apabila hutang diminta dibayar?

kenapa si penghutang tak rasa bersalah?

kenapa si pemiutang pula yg rasa nak mintak maaf atau berterima kasih kpd si penghutang apabila hutang telah dijelaskan?

pening, pening ...

i'm not saying it's easy to pay someone back (sya pun ada hutang orang lain) but it would be better if some communication happens between both party, especially if it is between friends or relatives. that's all i'm saying.

Killing Me Softly Fugees Official Video HD

you're right, my life is so connected with songs.

since i was in school, i remember dubbing songs on cassettes. those were the days!

whatever phase i was going thru, all saved (dubbed). now, i just go to youtube and upload them here. certain songs would bring back certain memories. luahan perasaan? maybe.

but actually, tak reti nak copy/burn pada cd  hehehe

another friend once commented that i read the same genre of books on life, relationships, communication, self-help, diets & health, marriage & management. she got me thinking. what i read has helped me with whatever issues i faced in life, just like the songs; other than the obvious resources.

thank you for pointing it out to me. i didn't really realise it until now. it's good to discover something about me.

Tom Peters

i just bought this book and i am in awe of Tom Peters!

yes, adel, i bought another book :)

come to think of it ... i think i am a book hoarder but i'd rather think that i am a 'wisdom seeker'   ;)   it has a positive vibe to it, doesn't it?

any comments, adel? hehehe
just because you miss someone, it doesn't mean they belong in your life ~ darlifa darliz (fb 8 nov 2011)


orang tua kata, kalau mimpi seseorang tanpa bertutur, ia mimipi benar ... kalau ada yg bercakap, mimpi itu gangguan syaitan.

betul ke?

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

i need time!

sooooo many books to read, so lil time :(

got to organize my time.

get with it, sya!


the new year is just around the corner. time flies by at supersonic speed.

i've been restless the last few months. 2012 is my come back year (?).

i've yet to finalise anything but i hoping for some positive changes, especially for myself, my future.

insyaAllah, i will tell you ... maybe.

am i?

2 men have told that i am smart.

honestly, i couldn't believe what i heard. i never saw myself as such altho i know i have acted like a smart a** a couple of times (uncountable!) hehehe ... that's a different story tau!

i guess i never give much credit to myself .... that's a thought!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

selamat menyambut hari raya aidiladha. sya mintak maaf jika ada tersinggung @ terkecil hati dengan blog sya ni. semoga raya diraikan dgn meriah bersama family tersayang :)

esok balik kb :) looking fwd to the long drive, our quality time :)

Guardian's of each other's solitude

the point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one of which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust.
a merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development.
but once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distance exists, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.


Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.

by Rainer Maria Rilke

Friday, November 4, 2011

quotable quotes

you grow up the day you have the first real laugh - at yourself. (Ethel Barrymore)

if you don't have enemies, you don't have character. (Paul Newman)

at the Sharper Image store , i saw a body fat analyzer. didn't that used to be called a mirror? (Jay Leno)

the way i see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. (Dolly Parton)

Bruno Mars - All She Knows (HQ)+Lyrics

Bruno Mars - Talking to the moon

sorry ye kalau sya nampak beriya sgt. i know, it can be a buzz killer. i'm just too excited. that's all.


panas hati #2

this is the 2nd time i've ordered, paid and left my slice of cake at the counter in disgust.


because of their disservice to me.

1st incident: the knife used to cut my cake was wiped by a very wet & dirty looking rag. i pointed this out and the kid just ignored me. unfortunately, i paid 1st before the cake was cut. feeling icky and upset, i told them i will not eat that cake & just walked out of the shop. kalau makan juga, memang takleh nak telan ....

that was months ago.

i knew but i hope it would be different this time but, nooooooo.

after i paid for my slice of cake, it was packed and handed to me but the whole plastic bag was wet! i asked why and requested for a new bag. the kid (who cut the cake & packed it) looked incredulously at me and started taking a new bag but with unnecessary force and grunt. offended & disgusted (again), i lost my appetite and left the cake (again) at the counter.

rugi duit, rugi cake tapi hati sya dah tak panas. better that way!

panas hati

panas je hati hari ni ...

when i tell u that i understand yr situation, please believe me. and i have been doing so for the last 8 months ... something is not right with the situation or somebody!

i've been patient & courteous enough and now, not so much! if u feel upset, maybe u should but not with me. with yourself for taking my tolerance & patience too lightly!

so ... can u pls make things right as soon aa possible? thank you!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

i am ...

'a seeker of wisdom' ~ Laura Munson (This is not the Story you think it is).

her words echoes in my heart & mind.

26 days

just a few days shy from a month of his abduction. we've been praying & hoping that he will be freed this eid. all of us want nothing more than his safe return to his beloved family.

this is so heart wrenching and i do feel sad & guilty that life goes on for us here in malaysia while my sil & family are still waiting in agony for him to come home.

i wish with all my heart that we could find & bring him home .... but all we could do is keep on praying & hoping, itulah usaha & senjata kami sbg org islam.

ya Allah, bukakanlah hati mereka utk melepaskan dia & dihantar pulang. aminn.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

what's next?

i resigned from my lecturing post 7 years ago. i freelanced for a couple of years. took care of my parents in their time of need. married off my two brothers (well actually helped my parents) & my lil brother-inlaw.

i've focused on my 'cotton business', nearly but failed to complete my masters, developed a few skills, lost count of my IUIs (& failed), had D&Cs (loat count), also failed an IVF attempt, went if several diets and ... what's next for me?

i feel that i've been here for my family for the last seven years. i am satisfied but now i need something else.

Pilgrims flock to Mecca to perform annual haj

Ya Allah ... sya rindu sangat untuk kembali ke Tanah SuciMu.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011


wishful thinking
on a
Tuesday night ...

i wish i had money to burn.

what would you do if you had money to burn?