as you sleep
i sit with my laptop
with the tv on

as you pull the blanket
the airconditioner & fan are still on
i'm left feeling the cold

as i type
memories of what we talked about
linger in my head

where do i start?
how can i ease your pain?
how can i help you make things better?

as i watch you sleep
i feel a tinge of sadness
worry
hope
and excitement

i am sad that things are gloomy
to say the least
for you

i worry
how you will face your adversity
but remember
i am always by your side

i hope things will get better
i hope your future will get brighter
i hope you will find your happiness
with me beside you

i am excited what the future holds for us
i am excited what's next Allah has instore for us
i am excited to still be with you
on this adventure we call
marriage & life
i am excited about us, still & forever!

as you sleep
i pray to Allah to ease your pain
i pray to Allah to ease your way
i pray to Allah to keep on loving you
and i pray to Allah for Him to remind you
He is always there for you

as you sleep
remember that i love you
i love you
i am here for you

sleep well my love
rest
dream
hope
and wake up to live the life
that you want!

2 weeks & couting down to end of 2010

i was quite surprised. it been 2 weeks already since i last blogged.

so ... what have i been up to?

nothing much and alot too!

where do i start?

my parents are busy getting ready for their Haj. i'm excited for them but i worry since my mother hasn't had her rest yet. she's been very busy and she needs her rest before her big trip.

had gastric & diarrhea since last friday but am feeling abit better now. since i was under the weather, i didn't feel like doing anything else but just keep quiet and rest ... yeah, right! those who know me would know that would be impossible!

yesterday, sis-inlaw arrived in KL with my mom-inlaw from karachi. they'll be going back to kb tomorrow. than, sil will come back on tuesday night and then fly back to karachi on thursday. busy busy busy!

then come the end of the month. then november. a doa selamat  (for my parents' Haj) to arrange & a birthday to set up (Aiman's 1st birthday). Tok Ma & Maklong would have to plan for it because Aiman's parents are ... Aiman's parents. i'll just leave it at that, ok.

after that will be my doctor's appointment. not just any appointment. this is THE appointment where we'll decide to proceed with our biggest quest ever. what is it? i'll keep you posted, insyaAllah.

then comes Raya Haji. hubby won't be around. he has to go to China. that means we won't be going back to kb either.  parents aren't around. my siblings will be busy by themselves. oh wait ... i have to entertain them since i am the eldest! oh well ....

hmm... this is the only month left for me to get some things done. come december i will be bedresting for how long i wouldn't know.

i have so many kain  to sell. i had a plan for a 'year-end sale' and now i don't know if i have the time or not!

plus ... if i want my friends to come over before december, this would be the time for it. but how? the house's a mess! me & my itchy hands for overhauling the whole house ... sheesh!

reading this entry is making me tired and it isn't midnight yet!

i can start something after my guests have left for kb. then stop again for 1 more day before sil flies back to karachi and pick up again from there. by then, 'hello november!'

ok sya ... keep breathing and tackle each at a time but move fast! time is not on your side.

Maher Zain in person!

a-haa moment at 11.40am 10.10.10

Channel 501 Awani: 2011 Budget Review (this very second)

Suhaimi Sulaiman anchoring the programme.

1st reaction: he's huge! he has gained so much weight. he must hate himself so much!

2nd reaction: oh, wait! that's me! i am like him. i hate myself too!

wow ... we're both fallen out of love with ourselves. we haven't been taking care of ourselves but our work, other people and our lives. self was excluded.

so what to do now?

love myself again. you can do it too, cik Mie!

... .

... in a depression mode ...

what else is new?!


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