Thursday, June 30, 2011

home sweet home ...

finally ... familiar ground & some stability.

time is ticking ... on the run again soon ... yup, starting tomorrow.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

... i crave for stability! living out of a bag is getting to me ....


Wednesday, June 22, 2011


we're on a bus, Aeroline, to Singapore for a holiday till saturday then driving back to KB by car the next day. coming back to KL on the 29th.

cuti-cuti sblm dia start kerja baru.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

i feel so bummed out ... literally!


Friday, June 17, 2011

i am so happy with myself!

in our quest for a baby, we went thru 2 IUI cycles and failed. as heartbreaking as it is, one good thing came out of this. during both cycles, i'd stop drinking coffee, milo and tea. i only took ovaltine 'o' kosong.

now, i don't want any if those drinks. coca-cola also tastes weird. i still want some sweet drink but i don't crave it anymore. i can drink more plain water.

my aim now is to cut off all sugary drinks. i can do it!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

swimming partner

yes, you read it right!

i have found my swimming partner!

she's my friend who is also a bidan & tukang urut.

i has a massage session with her yesterday afternoon and then we agreed to meet up for a  swim.

i was so exhausted, i was yawning as we swam hehehe

we weren't really swimming. my friend and her daughter do not how how to swim, i do but i haven't been swimming for the last 7 months.

so what we did was walking from one end to the other non-stop. halfway through i forgot how many laps we did but we were in the pool for 45minutes. i kept track of the time.

as tired and sleepy as i was, it was hard to fall asleep. it took awhile and i think i had a weird dream which i couldn't remember.

anyway ... it was a good start :o)

i plan to ask my friend to come again on saturday if our schedules are clear. we plan to swim together at least 2x a week and more.


Tuesday, June 14, 2011

i just realised that i have given up so many things in my life.

where do i start, what should i do to be alive again?

where can i find 'me' again?

i hear a voice in my heart/mind ~~ start by losing weight. food is not the answer to my loneliness.

yes, it is not.

i want to feel good again. i do good by taking care of others and yet neglect my needs. i convinced myself that i was doing good but actually am not, for me & others too.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

cepat lah ...

i wonder when he's going to give me back my camera.

i am eager to take pics of my cotton fabrics and start my online biz.

previous plan was to rent a booth at subang parade's weekend bazaar but astonishingly all tables were taken up within 4hrs after announcement :o(

my fault. i opened my email too late.

so, on to 2nd plan.

cepatla abang ... sya nak camera tuuuuu!

Friday, June 10, 2011


... it's our nature to judge others ... and in our nature to blame others for our mistakes (Desperate Housewives 6, 4.30pm, 10th June 2011)



why is it ... whenever i think or plan to go back to working, my teaching & training career, my anxiety level shoots up over the roof?

my heart starts skipping beats ... and i go into panic mode.

i know in my heart that i am a good teacher. i can connect with my students. but many a times, i question my abilities. i don't know why.

i resigned in late 2004. i freelanced in 2005 -2007 & till mid 2009. 2008 was the year i took care of my mother after her bypass and we also went for Haj.

late 2009 till now, i revived my hobby-cum-business selling cotton fabrics from Pakistan.

it was my choice to make the choices that i made. the outcome was  not always good or positive but i have no regrets, insyaAllah. i made the right choice at that moment in time.

now it is time to make new ones.

i wish myself good luck!