Monday, October 31, 2011

too long ...

as i switched off the lights ... get into bed & under the covers, we discussed about our family crisis.

the longer we wait for his return, the more despair we feel. according to sil, the police are giving the case a 3 month window. if ... i don't want to think about the 'if'!

ya Allah, please keep him safe. please bring him home safe & sound. aminn.

insyaAllah we're going after raya. i want to go but at the same time i am worried for our safety. the country is going thru some bad political turmoil. i just hope that we are safe throughout our journey.

sidai anak2

tahu tak mcmana orang dulu2 sihat anak2 dia. bukan anak betul ... tapi anak pakaian. bukan pakaian anak. iisshhh .... baju & seluar dalam lah! zaman sekarang, kita boleh tahu apa yg dipakai dibwah baju masing2. dulu2, orang masih segan & anggap takyahlah tahu apa dia pakai dibawah baju dia.

tahu tak mcmana ia disidai dikeringkan?

sya pernah praktikkan masa sya balik ke rumah mak mertua sya. terkejut semua hehehe

caranya ialah ... sidai & susun seluar & baju dalam (bra) sederet, sepanjang kain sarung batik. selepas itu, tutup semuanya dgn menyidai sarung batik diatasnya. jangan risau, dgn matahari terik, semuanya akan kering.

sya dah buat & berjaya ;)


yg terlintas dihati kecil sya ...

bila solat cukup 5 waktu, dihiasi dgn solat2 sunnat serta amalan2 yg dituntut agama, insyaAllah murah rezeki yakni, apa yg ada mencukupi, menenangkan & disyukuri; lapang dada, ruang & masa; insyaAllah sentiasa selamat; dan panjang umur yakni, yg dihajati sempat merasa, yg perlu dibuat sempat dibuatkan/disudahkan/disempurnakan. insyaAllah, inilah yg dinamakan hidup yg berkat (kesedaran pd waktu maghrib, 7.21pm, 31hb oktober 2011).

Friday, October 28, 2011

Oprah Winfrey

she is such a phenomenal woman. she has done so much good to the world's community, especially for the black community (for the lack of a better word).

watching her farewell show, i can't help tearing up watching the gratitude people are showing for all she has done for them.

i admit, she has given me many of my own 'a-ha' moments too.

now i wish we could see her OWN network programmes.

i always quietly hoped she becomes a muslim. only He knows her future.

wok with yan

martin yan, wok with yan.

the man who inspired me to cook (other than my mother).

i love his style of cooking ~ fresh, quick & delicious !

Thursday, October 27, 2011

20th day ....

each day still hoping & believing that he'll come home. this is nothing like what you see on tv. no good cops to help you. no leads to go on. no ransom note nor calls. no clues. all happening in a 3rd world muslim country that is as corrupted as any other country.

Ya Allah ... kupohon ....

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

route to Pakistan

we've rebooked our tickets and waiting for my sil's greenlight.

to this day, no ransom call or contact has been made by the abductors. however, the rumour mill has been working overtime among my sil's friends & family in karachi.

the latest rumour (which i really hope is not what is happening to my bil) is that this is the work of terrorist group & kidnapping is their way of getting funds. the extension of this rumouris that, my bil could be sold yo the highest bidder and only then the bidder would ask for a ransom. this is crazy! one of the other worst things that could happen is that my bro-inlaw could be smuggled out of his country! all these rumours is scaring everyone :( including me.

this is so disturbing :(

i really really pray that these are only rumours and my bil will come home soon.

he wants to stay home and do his work.

i want to go out and have some fun.

clash of the titans!

we're at home   :o(   ggrrrrr ...


Tuesday, October 25, 2011


i HATE the Walking Dead!


Monday, October 24, 2011

day 17 ...

it's day 17 and not a phonecall since the last one. my brother-inlaw is still missing but we haven't lost hope.

hubby called his sister last night. hubby's youngest niece doesn't want to go to school, that is understandable. it is difficult for her with all the Q&A from her teachers and friends. poor girl  :'(

sis-inlaw told hubby that it is still not safe for us to go. she lives about 4 doors from her inlaws and to go home, just to check the house or get some things, she has to have 6 bodyguards with her. 6!

rumours have been going around on certain chats & web sites about my brother-inlaw. some even stated that he's home after paying a hefty ransom! if only that were true, that he is safely home.

whenever my phone rings or text messages come in, when i see hubby's name or SIL's name come up, my heart does a flip-flop.

Ya Allah, please send him home safely. open those bad mens' hearts to let him go home. please ....

it's ok ....

one of the ways of having a stress free life is not to mind everything, every single detail. my heart and mind could only take so much.

that's what i am trying to do and yet fail, but not so much :) i can take the pain, rejection, or whatever it is, insyaAllah. i try to undertand everything and then let go.

insyaAllah i can do it. no, i will do it for the sake of my sanity!

**byr aje la saman tu, sya. nape plak nak marah parking attendend tu? sya jugak yg byr tak cukup tiket parking tu ... iiiiishhhh!

Masterchef Malaysia

this was my comment on MCM's FB wall:

"‎2 episod bertarung nasib mengejar impian utk menjadi seorang chef (or at least menambah ilmu dlm bidang ini). bukan mudah tapi syabas kpd para peserta yg berani mencuba! saya tak berani hehehe ... i know you want this badly, on top of that it's your 1st time on tv (most of you) & you're nervous. no worries, just focus on what you have to do. ... to the judges, you seem more nervous than the contestants. chill & find your rhythm. as much as you're judging, your focus should be on helping the contestants too. the programme is abit shaky (which is normal) but i wish you all the best! when i overcome my fears, maybe i'll try out for season 2 (kalau ada) ;) "

this was my comment on 1001Resipi's FB wall when she asked what everyone thought of the show:

"rancangan tak boring walaupun meniru US. it'll be interesting to see how it'll pan out/progress & become a real Malaysian program (i hope). on the positive side, it's heartwarming to see Malaysians from all walks of life trying to live their dreams. i love to cook but i certainly don't have those contestants' guts. good for them! on the downside, the judges are abit unnatural but it's a first for them too (i think). if from this comes Junior Masterchef Malaysia, that'll be very interesting. it'll be such a positive motivation for kids who love or interested to cook."

overall, i think it is a good effort with lots of room for improvement. there have been some negative & snarky comments on FB and i can give you 2 sen by telling you, those snarky people don't even have half the guts those contestants have. i think the professionals might not be as snarky because they know how difficult it is for the contestants.

i would love to try it out but i don't have the guts hehehe

too scared of failing because i have high expectations and i know i don't know that much ... ehheeeee!

i look forward to learn some new skills through the program and it's nice to see Ary Malik on TV again.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

1.03am ... still awake.


on the net.

the tv's switched on.

hubby's asleep, just.

i need food .... heh!


Masterchef Malaysia is on!

missed it just now.

tv time!

Friday, October 21, 2011


i think i've caught the k-pop bug :D


can't shake this loneliness bug off! woke up, got hubby ready for work and when he left, the house was totally quiet.

vacuumed the carpet but that's it. my back was killing me. must be aiman i carried 2 days ago. that toddler is as heavy as 2 sandbags!

can't stay & there's nothing to eat (meaning, i don't want to slave over something in the kitchen).

got out of the house but undecided where i should go. can't drive far because of my bad back. am still in my car (again) & weighing on my options (mcmlah byk sgt!)

i am use to being alone but it's the loneliness bug that kills me, occasionally.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

13 ...

thinking of my brother-inlaw who has been missing for 13 days now ... my problems are so microscopic. i wonder how he is and i pray to Allah that he is in good health & safe no matter they have kept him.

it is still so surreal but devastating too ... wondering how or where he is. whatever i feel is hardly the tip of the iceberg of what his family is feeling right now.  every time i think of his predicament, tears flows. i wish they would let him come home soon. safely come home, aminn.

i can't imagine what he's going thru ... the trauma, is he in pain, is he safe? he must be worried about his family too.

kesian semuanya :'(

where to ...?

it's close to 5.30pm.

i'm in my car, infront of my office ... don't know where to go. home? it's too quiet. my parents' home? spent half the day there earlier today.

where to go?

most days, this feeling is tolerable or ignored but today, can't do either.

still in my car, watching the traffic building up on sunway & npe.

darn it!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Rancics

Giulianna revealed that she is now fighting breast cancer in the early stages.

i feel for her. altho i don't know her personally but i have followed her struggle with trying to have babies and now this.

i fear the same thing ...

i hope she'll recover soon and gets back to good health.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

A Small Adventure by Santa Montefiore

... So this was her life? In her late forties, with children grown up and a husband busy at work, travelling so much he was rarely at home - and, when he was, she felt more like a domestic than a wife .... Did she love him? If she did, it was a familiar love that was barely aware of itself. She trudged on, gazing bleakly into her future. Was this as good as it was going to get?

... communication ...

... communication is not about distance. it's about wanting to hear ... you can be on the other side of the world and still listening to the person you love. (Sophie Kinsella ~~ Christmas List)

flat tyre

dear sya,

if u ever face this prob, here's a solution. if it is flat tyre, get to the nearest petrol station & pump it with air. then, slowly get to an auto tyre shop & get them to check & fix it.

since u got this bril idea after u got home, good luck in repairing it tmrw!
kak za called half an hour ago.

she sounded so sad & tired. i would be too in her position. no news yet of where my brother inlaw is or whether he is really safe & well. they called only once to inform that he is ok, but it's only their word against my BIL.

kak za told me that friends have been texting & calling congratulating that her husband is back when in fact he hasn't. it seems that rumours have been going around with false info. this only adds to their sadness, worry & stress.

it's heart wrenching to hear her cry and i could not do anything to help her bring her husband home. luluh hati sya dgr tangisan kak za, airmata sya berjujuran mengalir.

Ya Allah, selamatkan abg Riyaz & kembalilah dia ke pangkaun keluarga dgn selamat. aminn aminn ya robbal alaminn.

Sunday, October 16, 2011


9 days and counting ...

no news yet of my brother inlaw's whereabouts, whether he's ok or not ... 9 days of waiting :(

hubby & i are getting worried but ours is nothing compared to what my sil & family are feeling. the agony of waiting & wondering ... i dare not say nor think.

our only wish is for him to come home safely & quickly.

Ya Allah, lindungilah abang riyaz dari bahaya & pulangkan dia ke pangkuan keluarga dengan segera. semoga family kami di pakistan tabah & sabar menghadapi dugaan ini.

Ya Allah ... ku pohon kepadaMu yg terbaik buat ahli keluargaku, aminn.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

big, bold & beautiful women :)

Monday, October 10, 2011

... taken

this entry has nothing to do with my new chapter in life ... but an important one as is.

my biras was kidnapped last saturday night :-(

he just got back from overseas, went home for lunch and went to visit the factory office instead of HQ. on his way home, his car was intersected by another car & 2 outriders. a shot/shots were fired (various news reports) and he was taken away from his car. his driver & bodyguard were left behind and are now detained for questioning.

it has been more than 48 hours now and we are just beside ourselves, hoping for the best outcome that he is safe & unhurt.

my sil is in karachi all alone with her kids & inlaws. we want to go but there are some concerns. we need an invitation to get a visa. we also do not want to impose on everyone with our presence although all we want is to give our support. i am sure their house is now swarm with police plus waiting for the abductors' call & demand. any communication we sent to my sil is kept to a minimum in case the bad guys call.

we are praying so hard for his safe return. this feels so surreal. Ya Allah, please bring him home safe & unhurt.

I want out

rasa lemas sgt2!

i want out.

let me breathe, pls!


Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Sunday, October 2, 2011

marc anthony - my baby you (full song)

Nelly - Dilemma ft. Kelly Rowland

One More Time RICHARD MARX Lyrics

Liberty X - Just A Little

Adele - Someone Like You (Live in Her Home)