good bye Kak Yah

i lost a dear cousin yesterday morning. she died of heart and kidney problems. she was just 58yo.

her absence is greatly felt because she was our eldest cousin. she was such a jovial & exhuberant person. wherever she was, we would flock around her to hear her stories, teases and laughter.

the last few months had been excruciatingly challenging for her and she rose to the occassion.

i miss her dearly.

she lived far from me, in Tanah Merah, Kelantan. i am so thankful that i went to see her during last CNY holidays since i haven't seen her for so long.

may you rest in peace, Kak Yah and may Allah keeps on blessing you.

American Idol 2011

i think this is the 1st time i am excited about the AI's top 24s.

i look forward to listening to them belt out the songs next week onwards.

i wish those who were cut, weren't. they came so far & so close yet not make it.

let's see who'll be the next Idol :o)

me ... extreme?

i need to keep my mouth shut & my opinions to myself ... how does one do that?

i don't think i am a very opinionated person and i think i do keep things to myself but yet whatever i have said, some people have already labeled me as very opinionated, stubborn, stern, uptight .... yes, i have been told so to my face.

i am taken aback ... abit ... but i accept because that is how they see me. i think i am all those but none to the extreme, yet that is how they see me in extreme measures.

*sigh*

oh well, am not here to please anyone but my heart & soul. as long as my conscience is clear, am ok. but if i am out of line, i welcome yr input.

in other words, as unready i might be to hear your input/critic/opinion about me, i am humbled by it :o) thank you.

tiny ....

as i was driving to lunch on Sprint hi-way, there were many cars on the road and a slight traffic was building up as i approach section 16, PJ.

all i could think of was ... in a second, He could make everything worthless. He could take everything away from us. what was valuable to us is now useless.

take away all of our worldly possessions and we are only left with our bodies and souls. and that is all that matters when Jugdement Day comes. we are so tiny when we are not with our worldly possessions.

if one has yet to realise how close it might be, the more he/she is in denial or oblivious to it.

i think i am somewhere in between. i am still making mistakes and i wish i could lessen them. i know what to do but yet i find myself floating away ...

Ya Allah, please help me to find my way, guide me to your blessings, forgive my sins ... Ya Allah, forgive me.

who am i?

i was watching an episode of Giuliana & Bill.

there was a scene where G went to see her therapist, Dorothy. they were taking about her second attempt at ivf. she was telling Dorothy that she doesn't want to go through it but she will.

Dorothy observed that G was putting up a brave front and was not addressing her real emotions. G agreed and stated that she is all about her work. she wonders out aloud, if she puts her work aside, who is she really? she couldn't answer.

Dorothy advised that she has to let Bill know how she feels. she doesn't have to be strong all the time.

to shorten the episode, G will consider and have a talk with Bill.


****************************************************************


that got me thinking & wondering ...

if i am not my parents' daughter
not my brothers' older sister
not my husband's wife
not my sis-inlaws sis-inlaw
not my family's relative
not my friends' friend

then ... who am i?



i wonder ....

am i defined by my worldly possessions? no, definitely not.

am i defined by who i am to the poeple above? maybe.

but how do i define myself? how do i see my self?

... (blank mind & blinking eyes) i don't know how to answer the last 2 questions.





do you know who you are?


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not a good day today ... am going to bed.

cried too much, laughed too hard, pissed off too often ... *sigh*





good night. hoping for a better day tomorrow onwards.



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i want wantan/wonton soup ...

woke up feeling exhausted.

how so?

i don't know why ....

really tired. took a nap after hubby left for work.

am still at home.

need to get ready but don't feel like it.

today's a full day ....

12 lunch dgn exec.BJ (Sunway Mentari) am thinking of having ayam penyet.
then to office, she wants to look at the fabrics.
then send her back to her office. (Subang SS15 -  Sunway Mentari - Subang SS15)
3pm my appointment with Dr.Zamri. (Shah Alam)
5pm my appointment with Dr.Muzvin. (TTDI Jaya Shah Alam)

somewhere in between, i need to stop by at my parents' to pick up a few things.

another day in the car, on the road.


on top of that ... am planning to make wontons ... fried or steamed? soup? i just bought the bamboo steamer hehehe ... kalau ada tenaga, adalah menjadi nanti  ;o)

our dinner ... no rice, ok?

i wanted to eat something that looked & tasted somewhere between a quesadilla, murtabak, roti john, french toast & tacos.

so what did i do?

i blended some shallots, ginger, garlic & cilipadi; tumis jap and then add some salt & minced meat in olive oil. once cooked to my liking (just like the topping on pizza), i drained the excess oil with kitchen towel and strainer.

then i whisk up 2 eggs, salt, pepper (cilipadi kalau nak pedas lagi) & add some of the fried minced meat above.

in a heated pan, i pour the mixture and then place a capati bread on top of it. you can use any flat bread or just normal bread.

fry/cook the egg thoroughly. the eggs will puff up & brown. once cooked, flipover to brown the other side of the bread. then place on a kitchen paper.

to essemble, i put some shreded salad leaves & juliened carrots on one side of the flat bread. squeezed some tomato/cili sauce & lite mayo and roll the whole thing up.

so, in a roll there is protein, carbs & veggies. one roll was enough because it became one big roll and served with some side salad.

yumm ...




sorry, couldn't upload pics. somehow my laptop can read my hp/camera memory card :o(

There are two types of people who wake up in the morning:

"Alhamdulillah, it's morning."


"Astaghafirullah, it's already morning?"


depending on the situation, i've said both.
 

(anonymous, unknown)

Witty Definitions by Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

1. Love - a temporary insanity cured by marriage.

2. Day - a period of 24 hours, mostly misspent.

3. Egotist - a person who is more interested in himself than in me.

4. Acquaintence - a person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

5. Admiration - our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

6. Bore - a person who talks when you wish him to listen.

7. Calamities are two kinds - misfortunes to ourselves and good fortune to others.

8. Alone - in bad company.

9. Apologize - to lay the foundation for a future offense.

10.Once - enough.

11.Twice - once too often.

12.Year - a period of 365 disappointments.



from http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Ambrose_Bierce









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13 and more

Happy Anniversary, Abang!

i almost forgot that today is our 13th anniversary.

in my mind, our wedding anniversary is on 5th July (tahun masihi) but when it comes to the Islamic year, it falls on the Prophet's (pbuh) birthday. Peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad.




13 years and more happiness to come, insyaAllah.

my equal

let me tell you
you are my love

let me tell you
you mean the world to me

let me tell you
i need & can't live without you

let me tell you
you are not my better half

let me tell you
you are my equal
therefore you are my life



i  love you every second, minute, hour, day, week, month & year
never just on VD.

Munif Ahmad - Zikir Hasbi Robbi

Allahuakbar!

tatkala sunyi melanda
iblis bersenyum
syaitan mengulit

tatkala airmata berguguran
iblis menadah
syaitan semakin menangguk

tatkala hati tersentak
iblis terkejut
syaitan kerisauan

tatkala hati tersedar
iblis menangis
syaitan kehampaan

tatkala hati menyebut Allah
bibir & hati mula berzikir
iblis & syaitan lari bertempiaran



Ya Allah, ampunilah dosaku. tatkala hati sya kesunyian, iblis syaitan mengulit sya ke arah yang salah. syukur alhamdulillah, Allah menyinar kesedaran ke dalam hati sya. kerinduan & kesunyian yang melanda bukanlah untuk sesiapa tetapi kepada Allah. sya merindui Allah! Allahuakbar!

riiiingggggggg ...
hello, love!
how was your day?
is everything ok?

yes, all is fine.
(can you hear my tears?)

good night.
see you soon.

yes, see you soon.
i love you too.
(i miss you much.)

click.

AJMC

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i am in awe of those Junior Masterchefs.

they're such adorable, creative, daring & tiny giants. i am so proud of them! can't say i'm not envious too hehehe


.

bug bites

lately, the lonely bug has been biting me quite frequently.

i don't think it's because we've been together for too long ... but maybe it's because we've been doing our own thing for too long. him with his work and me with the rest of our life - family, friends etc.

i'd feel the most whenever he goes out of town.

noon today he flew to Kuching and will be flying home at 10pm on wednesday from Miri.

where am i? at my parents'. i don't think i could be home alone tonight. the bug bit me quite early in the day today.



i miss you, abang.

Lynn Crawford

i love watching Lynn Crawford's Pitchin'In tv programme.

she is jovial, full of life, humble, loving & a great cook!

i love that she goes around visiting the common man and have a go at thier work and, in return cook up a feast for them.

now she experiences where her produce comes from, hard labour with lots of love & sweat!

you go, chef Lynn!