Sunday, October 10, 2010
a-haa moment at 11.40am 10.10.10
Channel 501 Awani: 2011 Budget Review (this very second)
Suhaimi Sulaiman anchoring the programme.
1st reaction: he's huge! he has gained so much weight. he must hate himself so much!
2nd reaction: oh, wait! that's me! i am like him. i hate myself too!
wow ... we're both fallen out of love with ourselves. we haven't been taking care of ourselves but our work, other people and our lives. self was excluded.
so what to do now?
love myself again. you can do it too, cik Mie!
Suhaimi Sulaiman anchoring the programme.
1st reaction: he's huge! he has gained so much weight. he must hate himself so much!
2nd reaction: oh, wait! that's me! i am like him. i hate myself too!
wow ... we're both fallen out of love with ourselves. we haven't been taking care of ourselves but our work, other people and our lives. self was excluded.
so what to do now?
love myself again. you can do it too, cik Mie!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
i miss u
whenever he's away ... this is what happens.
i sleep later than usual;
i eat more than usual.
2 nights away is ok ... but four or more?
life gets pretty lonely.
i am not dependent on him but ... it is quiet when he's not around.
i miss him.
sometimes i wonder ... would life be different when he's away but i'm at home with kids?
maybe it would be different ... but maybe not much ... i dunno ... just guessing.
being childless, we need to be independent and yet dependent too ... especially for companionship.
i miss him ... his big heavy arms around me ... his dark-circled eyes peering sleepy at me before he gives his final salam ... his loud snore assuring me he's beside me ... did i say, i miss him?
come home safely, soon.
on the other hand ... when he's around for too long ... he gets on my nerves! hahaha
i sleep later than usual;
i eat more than usual.
2 nights away is ok ... but four or more?
life gets pretty lonely.
i am not dependent on him but ... it is quiet when he's not around.
i miss him.
sometimes i wonder ... would life be different when he's away but i'm at home with kids?
maybe it would be different ... but maybe not much ... i dunno ... just guessing.
being childless, we need to be independent and yet dependent too ... especially for companionship.
i miss him ... his big heavy arms around me ... his dark-circled eyes peering sleepy at me before he gives his final salam ... his loud snore assuring me he's beside me ... did i say, i miss him?
come home safely, soon.
on the other hand ... when he's around for too long ... he gets on my nerves! hahaha
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
sad ...
a few days ago, ...
W: Abang nak keluar dah?
H: Hmm mm.
W: Balik for lunch?
H: Dak lah ... makan di KL kut. Pukul berapa diaorang nak datang?
W: 12.30 kut ... datang for lunch and then bagi duit kutu.
H: Hmm... (as he was walking out the door) ... ada anak2 sedara abang call ucapkan selamat hari raya? jemput open house?
W: errm ... F (cucu sedara) je sorang yg sms masa raya. Yang lain takde pun.
H: (terdiam sambil melangkah ke keretanya)
W: (juga terdiam)
Sya kesian sangat dgn orang ini. Teringat ajer, menitis airmata Sya. Sayu hati Sya. I wish I could take his pain away.
This is a man who has everything, can have anything and yet there is something missing from his life. Love and attention from his money-hungry, selfish, snobbish, stuck-up siblings, nephews & nieces! Whenever they need money, he's the one they turn to. I understand, how can he say no to his bloodline...? And I also know, he gives with his heart and all he's hoping for and wants is just some time, love & affection from them.
And yet ... nada!
I know he is envious of his wife. Her bloodline treats her well. They even treat her husband better! Yet the man yearns from his own blood too.
Is it so much to ask!?
I wish I could take his pain away ... I really do.
W: Abang nak keluar dah?
H: Hmm mm.
W: Balik for lunch?
H: Dak lah ... makan di KL kut. Pukul berapa diaorang nak datang?
W: 12.30 kut ... datang for lunch and then bagi duit kutu.
H: Hmm... (as he was walking out the door) ... ada anak2 sedara abang call ucapkan selamat hari raya? jemput open house?
W: errm ... F (cucu sedara) je sorang yg sms masa raya. Yang lain takde pun.
H: (terdiam sambil melangkah ke keretanya)
W: (juga terdiam)
Sya kesian sangat dgn orang ini. Teringat ajer, menitis airmata Sya. Sayu hati Sya. I wish I could take his pain away.
This is a man who has everything, can have anything and yet there is something missing from his life. Love and attention from his money-hungry, selfish, snobbish, stuck-up siblings, nephews & nieces! Whenever they need money, he's the one they turn to. I understand, how can he say no to his bloodline...? And I also know, he gives with his heart and all he's hoping for and wants is just some time, love & affection from them.
And yet ... nada!
I know he is envious of his wife. Her bloodline treats her well. They even treat her husband better! Yet the man yearns from his own blood too.
Is it so much to ask!?
I wish I could take his pain away ... I really do.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Hmm...
i wonder ...
should i go back to my Masters? start & finish it this time?
should i start lecturing/teaching/training again ...?
hmm ... i've left those 'hats' lying somewhere underneath my piles of books.
should i?
should i go back to my Masters? start & finish it this time?
should i start lecturing/teaching/training again ...?
hmm ... i've left those 'hats' lying somewhere underneath my piles of books.
should i?
Thursday, September 16, 2010
negative energy breeds only negative energy!
am so tired being in such a strong negative aura!
i can feel it eating me up ... engulfing me ... planting negative thoughts in my mind ... don't these people know what's going on??!!
so much sadness ... resentment ... love's dwindling in the wind ... the final straw? i hope not.
am so tired being in such a strong negative aura!
i can feel it eating me up ... engulfing me ... planting negative thoughts in my mind ... don't these people know what's going on??!!
so much sadness ... resentment ... love's dwindling in the wind ... the final straw? i hope not.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Karachi
for eid, we're in Karachi with hubby's family.
no, hubby's not a Pakistani but his sister married one.
my MiL is also here. she's always here for fasting month for the last 6 years.
only my adik-ipar & family are in KB.
Pakistanis celebrated their eid a day later than us. they even started fasting a day later than us.
don't ask me why.
they have this habit of doing things differently than other people/nations.
we celebrated eid with Malaysia.
it was a lonely eid for me.
of course i love this family but i missed mine too.
i miss seeing my three nephews in their baju melayu.
i miss my parents.
i never cried much before but this year was different. i guess it comes with age ....?
it is not my 1st time here, nor it is not my 1st eid away from my family.
but it is the 1st time i really miss home during eid.
i cried buckets the whole day ... quietly.
it's our 7th day today ... 6 days to go home.
no, hubby's not a Pakistani but his sister married one.
my MiL is also here. she's always here for fasting month for the last 6 years.
only my adik-ipar & family are in KB.
Pakistanis celebrated their eid a day later than us. they even started fasting a day later than us.
don't ask me why.
they have this habit of doing things differently than other people/nations.
we celebrated eid with Malaysia.
it was a lonely eid for me.
of course i love this family but i missed mine too.
i miss seeing my three nephews in their baju melayu.
i miss my parents.
i never cried much before but this year was different. i guess it comes with age ....?
it is not my 1st time here, nor it is not my 1st eid away from my family.
but it is the 1st time i really miss home during eid.
i cried buckets the whole day ... quietly.
it's our 7th day today ... 6 days to go home.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)