Gratitude II

Sya bersyukur Allah makbulkan doa kami untuk menimang cahayamata. Walaupun belum bersalin, pengalaman mengandung cukup mengharukan.

Baby is now kicking and 'responding' when i speak to him. It's an amazing experience!

Sya bersyukur sya dapat melalui pengalaman ini dgn hubby & parents sya. Abah Mama 1st time tgk an ultrasound scan pic. I am now waiting to give them their 1st experience of feeling their grandchild kicking in my tummy. Baby is still small so for now i am the only one able to feel him moving. Once he has grown abit more, taking up more space, only then his movements can be felt by others insyaAllah.

I am also happy that i still have my parents to support me, emotionally.

Hubby is also on cloud 9. I am so happy for him, for us too.

Now i'm in my 24th week. I pray that all will go well till the day i give birth & so on into the future that we have this baby in our life .... membesarkan anak kami bersama.

Syukur alhamdulillah!

makin lama makin malas nak menulis ...

blog-hopping je ...

fb browsing je ...



just an update:

i'm in my 23rd week. baby kuat bergerak. alhamdulillah.

i can also cook now.

since takde maid for a month ... byk juga exercise mengemas rumah & memasak. tolong2 my mum.

other than that ... my tummy's getting bigger for me to drive huhuhu



in short, we are ok, alhamdulillah :)

Do we decide who we hurt today?

do we really wake up each day with an intention to hurt or harm someone?

maybe there are people like that ... but i don't do that.

if i have ever hurt you, believe me, it was unintentional.

i also believe no one ... none of my friends ... intend to hurt me or my feelings deliberately and if it happens, i am sure Allah has a lesson in store for both of us.

that being said, i can't help feeling sad when i lose friends over reasons which are beyond me.

in my head i wonder what have i done wrong? did i do any wrong? said hurtful things?

sometimes Allah shows me that it just wasn't meant to be ... we were meant to part ways for no obvious reasons.

whatever the reason or no reason, it always saddens me to lose or lost touch with a friend.

what makes me more sad is reading on FB, on an ex-friend's wall saying things like, or implying (or is it just me yg terasa) that i haven't been a good friend and better to part ways.

if i had ever done wrong, which i have no clue if i did till today, i still have to move on and accept it. but i wonder if it is fair to say only i made the mistake and bear the grunt of it all.

if the tables were turned ...

it is so easy to point a finger at someone and say 'you hurt me' without taking any accountability in your own actions.

honest friends ... real friends will fight, break up & find each other again ... even after years being apart. that is what i believe.

*nukilan hati seorang insan yg kecewa ...
Ya Allah, jika hambaMu ini sememangnya telah berniat jahat, ampunilah dosaku.

hari ni sya bersyukur

1. che sya (my grandpa) dah sihat skit. insyaAllah esok discaj dari hospital. maybe abah mama can come home soon.

2. walaupun mual, abdomen mcm tegang je hari ni ... sya masih boleh drive cari makan. takde mood nak masak or suruh bibik masak. selera bertukar - less of tempe. now nak nasi yg berempah - beryani, nasi tomato etc. mengada? maybe ;)

3. reconnected with a lost friend. 2 years + to get here, no more anger or sadness, just acceptance. sya akur dgn ketentuanNya.



i am happy. alhamdulillah :)

13th week

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alhamdulillah.

i'm now in my 13th week ....

1st trimester is over!

am so excited :)


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gratitude

everyday we  ... i pray for something that i want - something to get, happen or get rid of; someone to contact, see or forget; time to do something or go somewhere ... always. but i realise i ask more than taking time to feel bless with what i alrteady have.

of course, i always say alhamdulillah for this and that but honestly, not as much as asking for what i want.

so ... today, this very second, i would like to list a few things that i am grateful for.

syukur alhamdulillah for
1. parents who are well & healthy
2. a caring & loving husband
3. being pregnant & coming to my 2nd trimester
4. waking up to another beautiful rainy day
5. clarity and may i use it to good use.

it's a start ...

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alhamdulillah.

i'm now in my 13th week ....

1st trimester is over!

am so excited :)


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reading back ... what an ungreatful person i am!

life is so much more meaningful when you focus on doing good than scrutinising what others are doing.

i regret my doings but i have also learned.

i hope to do better & be better the next second onwards.

insyaAllah.

it's sad when you try to be close but they just to busy to bother or feel that you're intruding.

i try to keep a regular connection with my brothers & their wives but many times my calls are unanswered or unreturned. text messages are the same.

i guess my asking of how they are are intrusive.

many a times i miss my brothers. at this age i want us to be closer but i feel they feel and think that i am just a busy body.

some nights i predict the future ....

when our parents are gone, we might never see each other again. live separate lives.

i try, i do but i am always misunderstood. that is why the last few years i have devoted my life to be by those who love me as i love them: hubby, my parents, my mother-inlaw, my hubby's sister & her family. i also try to give my love to my nephews as and when i see them which is not very often.

i think my brothers know that i am here for them but sadly i don't feel the same.

i wonder what the future holds ...

ya Allah
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