facts:
~ no kids of our own
~ seldom see nephews & nieces, so quality time is limited

today's reflection:
~ Allah knows best.
~ He knows i need time to get use to having a toddler around 24/7.
~ He knows my temper will subside and i will love aiman as he is, a 21mo toddler.
~ He knows my heart will open to this lil boy and love will flow so much from my heart for him.

results:
~ am thinking again about adopting.
~ it wouldn't be so bad, wouldn't it? i mean ... i won't be such a bad mother, would i?
~ i think i am capable of having a kid of my own, albeit he/she is adopted.

i love aiman, of course i do! but what excites me is that we've bonded the last few days. i love it when he's into me. 'mbaklong' is what he calls me. the kisses he gives me and when his tiny hand holds my index finger. i love it when we play run & catch. it's amazing to see how his lil legs run ... so fast!

i wish i could tell my brothers & sils how lucky they are to have children, no matter how challenging it is to raise them. they don't know how lucky they are. they have the privileged in having Allah's trust to take care one of his possessions, the children. the one thing we could or might not have one of our own.

i feel overwhelmed ....